It’s strange how you can be doing something you love and, for that matter, for it to be going really well, but still experience moments of absolute terror and doubt.

This is completely what happened to me this week. I had a moment when I questioned, for the first time in probably nearly two decades, what I would do if I decided that writing wasn’t my dream job and I should just give it up.

Live some kind of normal life instead.

It was a strange, dark and yet, at the same time, completely illuminating moment. I have been writing for so long that I still do it for pleasure, even when I have no intention of sharing it with an audience. If I don’t write for a few days, I start to get twitchy. I have creative energy and I need to use it. God didn’t give me any other talents, so writing it is.

But that traitorous little voice was there, the one that reminded me how much easier it would be if I just gave it all up now. If I stopped and concentrated on another career instead. How I would get so much of my time back, time that I could then spend with family and friends or on other hobbies. How I wouldn’t have to deal with rejection and failure that is part of every writer life, even once you are published and successful.

It was Steven Pressfield’s Resistance in full force and it nearly took hold of me completely.

I’ve pushed that feeling down and have been coming back to myself and my dreams with a fresh pair of eyes. It is hard, this dream of mine, possibly it is yours too. It doesn’t end and it is always challenging. But despite the free time and the glittering grass on the other side, it really is what I was meant to do.

So, tonight, I’ll sit here and keep on doing it. But if you have those moments of doubt, about anything that part of you truly believes in, know that it is entirely normal. It’s better to work through it than live a life not trying.